Several years ago, when I still read Reddit regularly, I was in r/photography. I read a post asking how one went out and took photos. The poster noted that many people were able to get out and take photos and yet they weren’t. The trite answer was, just do it. Just go out and take the photos.

Even at that time, I knew that wasn’t the answer. Even as it was the answer. The problem with the answer is it didn’t address the cause, only the symptom. The cause for the not being able to go out and take photos is anxiety. The problem with the answer was that it was from a neurotypical, who did not suffer the same anxiety and so couldn’t understand. At the time I knew tha answer wasn’t just do it. I also didn’t at the time have language for anxiety either and so that post stuck with me. As I couldn’t take photos, either, so the post had meaning for me, and the failure of the answer had meaning, through its lack thereof. 

Later, when I understood the problem and the not really a solution, rather the root cause, it was too late to respond. I am still faced with the same though, anxiety and neurodiversity get in the way of being able to find meaningful work. I have a job, I do not have a meaningful vocation, nor a living wage. My savings will be exhausted shortly and the tax refund isn’t going to keep the wolves at bay.